


memento mori

by fallacied



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brainwashing, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Spoilers, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Second Person, Poetry, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 02:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14322339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallacied/pseuds/fallacied
Summary: you fall from the train and they break you. the man on the bridge calls you bucky. there are two boys in brooklyn, there are two men fighting a war. you knew him. // a poem after bucky barnes.





	memento mori

**Author's Note:**

> ☆ originally written for a poetry writing challenge, prompt: write a syair (a malay narrative poem often regaling tales of wars or magical events, in the form of four-line stanzas with four to five beats and an AAAA rhyme scheme)  
> ☆ obviously i did a cop-out bc i'm terrible with form poetry and rhymes especially aaaa but i tried to keep to the four lines a stanza form, at least?  
> ☆ too. many. bucky. feels.  
> ☆ hashteg protect bucky barnes 2k18!!!! thank u n goodbye this has been a psa

snow. blood. where are you?

red on white on red on white on -

steve reaching out, steve screaming -

breathe. ice in your lungs. darkness.

 

longing. rusted. furnace. daybreak. seventeen.

benign. nine. homecoming. one. freight car.

soldier?

ready to comply.

 

bright. so bright. everything hurts.

where are you? steel, bleach, death.

ah, sergeant, you are awake. begin the procedure.

wh - pain, so much pain. you cannot stop screaming.

 

asset, deliver mission report.

target was eliminated. mission successful.

there are no further instructions. wipe him.

rubber on your tongue. leather binding wrists. you scream.

 

do you remember captain steve rogers?

barnes, james buchanan, sergeant.

he's dead. (steve? no. no. no.) 

three, two, five, five, seven, ze -

"captain america crashes plane to icy death." (steve..?)

 

the man with gold-ash hair and ice-blue eyes smiles.

you are the fist of hydra, he says. you will help cleanse the world.

vaguely, you remember an alley, cornsilk hair, bruises

around eyes the colour of the sky. the man keeps smiling. you nod.

 

steve is dead. they spit at you and laugh.

steve is dead. they beat you and cut you open.

order comes through pain, they say. hail hydra.

you wonder what killed steve when the fall didn't kill you.

 

the man on the bridge calls you bucky, with wounded eyes.

two boys, one sickly and one healthy, wandering down coney island.

two boys, one brunet and one blond, grimy as they lie in a trench.

two boys - bucky. who the hell is bucky?

 

asset, deliver mission report.

i knew him, you tell the secretary. i knew him.

a cramped brooklyn tenement. cigarettes on the fire escape.

the secretary backhands you. turns away. wipe him.

 

the target stands before you in redwhiteblue, shield in hand.

bucky, he calls you. (two boys in brooklyn -) who is bucky?

you fight him and you fight him and you fight him.

you lift your gun, but cannot make the killing shot.

  
  


bucky, he says. bucky, you've known me your whole life.

(skinny blond boy gets jostled playfully by bigger brunet. you punk.)

you are the asset, you are the soldier, you are, you are -

shut up, you yell. you punch him but he does not fight back.

 

the man from the bridge says: i'm not gonna fight you.

the man from the bridge says: you're my friend.

(train carriage. white knuckles. fear. steve reaching out. bucky..!)

you wonder: why did you let me fall?

 

blood and dirt and broken bones. a brooklyn alley, 1935.

steve stares up at you, all blood and bruises and hope.

'til the end of the line. the metal beams buckle and give out.

steve closes his eyes. this time, you let him fall.


End file.
